In the beginning....

This is my first attempt at a blog.  I figured this would be a good way to journal my upcoming journey.  You see, I have begun the process of being authorized for weight loss surgery.  Depending on how long you have known me, you may or may not know that I have dealt with being overweight my entire life.  As a child, I would dread going to the doctor because I knew, even at age 8 or 10 or 12, that he would tell me I was fat. I have struggled with extra weight for my whole life's memory.  Society and family and friends made it very clear - sometimes in not so many words - that I did not fit in because of my weight.  Now don't get me wrong, I often tried to reconcile what I learned in church and the Bible that God created me just the way I am.  But I was hearing conflicting messages.  I lived in a state of anxiety and loneliness because I never thought anyone could ever REALLY be my friend or REALLY like me because ultimately I was fat...and that was a deal-breaker.  It took a long time for me to even begin to believe that other people could love me for me...regardless of my physical form.  As I have grown and matured, those fears have not gone away but they have gotten less and less.  I have friends that have stuck with me through good times and bad....who have taken time from their lives to include me...because they love me.

We all know, us women mostly, that we too often put ourselves last in our own lives.  This becomes even more prominent when we get married and have children....our place continues to move lower and lower on the list of priorities.

I am blessed to be a great mom.  I am blessed to have a great family.  I am blessed to have great friends.

I work hard at being a good mom.  I work hard at being a good sister.  I work hard at being a good person in the eyes of God.  I work hard at being a good teacher.

Now is my time....I can't say exactly why...but it's now.

Last Friday, November 9th I took a first solid step in putting myself first so that I can be a great mom, a great sister, a great person and a great teacher.  I have to take care of myself to take care of others.  I have to take care of myself to set a good example for my children.

Last Friday, I had my first set of appointments to qualify for weight loss surgery.  I met with Candice - wonderful Nurse Clinician who has experience weight loss surgery herself.  She was so kind, knowledgeable and took her time to answer all my questions.  Then I met with Dr. Demattia, a doctor who used to specialize in women;s health and now bariatric medicine.  She talked to me about family history, why I feel ready now to have surgery and make a permanent lifestyle change and what my surgery options are.  I had an EKG and they took 8, yes 8, vials of blood!

I have said to myself and some close friends all along, if this is meant to be, things will go smoothly.  Not only did I feel comfortable with the staff at the clinic but I found out my health insurance will pay for it ALL after I meet my deductible.  What?  How can that be?  But it's true.

What is next?  I will complete a 10 week phone program through my insurance to help me prepare for surgery and to examine more closely by current lifestyle and where changes will be made.

If you'd like to follow my journey, please check here....because I will journal whenever the process continues.  Most of all, though, I would appreciate your support through prayer.